


Caution:Partying may lead to 2am texts

by llamabunnybird



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Tumblr Post, Dorks, Excessive Drinking, M/M, do not do this at home, fluffy end, gilbert is an idiot, matthew is a saint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 00:38:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2902952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llamabunnybird/pseuds/llamabunnybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based upon a tumblr post about a "prucan au where Gilbert is drunk at a party but was ditched by Antonio and Francis so he doesn’t have a ride home. He ends up calling a number he randomly saw in the house he was at for the party and they(Matthew) actually came to pick him up."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caution:Partying may lead to 2am texts

Matthew looked at the house warily. Yes he might be a schmuck and yes he might have been arriving as a result of one random person’s very drunk “my friends left me please take me home” phone call, yes it might be his ex’s place (apparently the person had seen the note on the fridge “if you need something call me! “ ) but regardless of justifiable fear, irritableness or general “you woke me up at 2am you hoser!” he was here to help.  
0o0o0o0o (3 hours before)  
Gilbert had decided that tonight was the night he was going to finish the flamingo beer bong. The fact that this decision was precipitated by 2 blunts and a shit load of shots was immaterial he was going to do the thing! Antonio and Francis were, of course, supportive of this decision. Carlos the host, was skeptical forcing them to take the bong out to the lawn.  
“And when you start hurling your guts out the trashcan is that way!” he added leaving them to it.  
With that it was on, even the Greek student waking up from his alcohol induced slumber to chant “FINISH IT” as Gilbert gamely attempted to do just that. Moments later he succeeded. The subsequent face plant into the dirt softened by the pat on the back and help from Antonio in getting up.  
“I didn’t think even you could do it Amigo” the Spaniard said the amount of impressment evident despite his laughter.  
Gilbert hiccuped “you should see Toris’s psycho roommate he could prolly do two of those bro”  
Francis grabbed his elbow to stop him from hitting the side of the house “Chere you should invite him next time!”  
Rolling his eye’s at the three of them Carlos waved at them from the porch “He okay guys?”  
“Think so?!” Gilbert’s friends said  
Gilbert hiccuped“I’m great!! And totally sober” with that everyone around them looked at him incredulously.  
“Dude can you like even say the alphabet?” asked the tiny blond hanging off of Toris, earlier the three had been debating the gender of the individual and had reached the conclusion of ‘indeterminate’  
Gilbert thought for a second. Then a moment more “A, E, R, T, Z?”  
“Like not even close” the person replied “You are gonna be like so full of regret in the morning” the amount of sympathy in their voice making both Antonio and Francis snicker.  
Moments later they deposited Gilbert on the couch as they went to look for water  
“We’ll be right back Gil” Antonio assured him as he trailed after Francis to the kitchen.  
The problem was they never did.  
As Gilbert would learn days later Antonio had run into the brooding Italian art student he’d been after for weeks literally run into. The results while initially seemingly unpromising had lead to Antonio taking off with the other man via vespa to see some “paintings’ back at the other’s place.  
Francis while being amused at the event had accidently elbowed the English exchange student in the face while distracted and reaching for a glass for Gilbert’’s water. Moments later an all out brawl was occurring as the other student’s siblings jumped in. well two of them anyway. The one brother seemed to be content just sitting on the counter with a whisky as he watched Francis get creamed. Afterwards, however, he offered to walk Francis to the Med Express down the street. Gilbert totally forgotten by this point Frances accepted the help.  
Which is how Gilbert was forced at 2 am to figure out how in Gott’s name he was getting home. Everything was blurry by this point . Blurry and funny. Carlos was about five minutes away from killing Gilbert before a very pretty girl with red ribbon’s in her hair distracted him with a suggested game of poker. Informed that he was expected to be gone whenever Carlos got back from said game Gilbert was confronted with a dilemma.  
If Francis and Antonio hadn’t come back for him that probably meant they had been ‘distracted’. “shit” he muttered wobbly getting off the couch and almost falling head first into the potted plant on the end table. Managing to catch himself he instead hit the floor in the other direction. Drunk as he was he still knew he needed to go home. Patting himself down he eventually came up with his phone. Actually moments later he realized it was Antonio’s as he was greeted with incomprehensible Spanish when he hit the speed dial that should have called his brother Ludwig. Quickly hanging up he looked at the phone not even sober enough to remember his brother’s number.  
“Los is gonna kill me” he mumbled into the carpet. Before he decided that a glass of water might in fact help sober himself up to piece together whatever the hell his brother’s number was.  
Tottering into the kitchen he ignored the couple getting it on on the kitchen table hunting for a glass (and alternately finding a mixer and another bong and some really nice glass….smoking dishes) finally managing to find one he still missed it twice when trying to reach for it. The two behind him snickering as he cursed out the cup. Finally managing to get it he then had the ordeal of trying to fill a glass that seemed to waver in and out of being 3 glasses finally managing it.  
Turning he realized who the other two were “Roderick?”  
The girl currently straddling him hissed “Gilbert Beilschmidt I can and will hit you with Carlos’s frying pan get out!!”  
And even drunk Gil was smart enough to know she would do it. “I’m going I’m going!!” he muttered quickly scooting as far away from them as he could and accidentally running into the fridge as he did so. Momentarily stunned he leaned slumped against the fridge and then he noticed.  
“If you need anything call me I can help~ xxx-xxx-xxxxx Mattie”  
“Oh thank Gott” he muttered quickly swiping the sticky note off the fridge and making his shaky escape to the living room. Deciding that the couch was far too far away he settled for the floor and managed after several attempts to dial the number.  
“lo?” the voice on the phone asked obviously just woken up.  
“I’m Gil I’m at Carlos’s saw sticky note said you could help? My friends left me here” Gilbert mumbled the alcohol suddenly making him sleepy.  
The person on the other end seemed to wake up completely at that “I’ll be over in ten meet you on the lawn” and with that they hung up  
Gilbert blinked at the phone and shrugged putting it back in his pocket before he tried to make it to the front door. Finally managing it he hoped Carlos would chalk the broken flower pot down to other revelers at his party not him. That had only taken five minutes though and by ten he had finally passed out on the lawn.  
O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o  
Matthew got out of his car carefully grabbing his hockey stick out of the back as he did so. He might be kind but unlike his other sibling he wasn’t stupid. The only person on the lawn was a passed out silvery haired person. Poking the person tentatively with his stick Matthew looked around whoever had called him should be out here if not they were getting hit with his hockey stick for waking him up so early for a prank call. Finally deciding to just call the person back Matthew hit redial on his phone tapping his foot as he stood on the porch. A phone began to ring behind him. Following the sound it turned out that the passed out silver haired student’s phone played the Macarena and also was the person he was looking for. Sighing Matthew leaned over him. “Hey!” he said “You called?” when there wasn’t a response “Hey hoser WAKE UP”  
With that Gilbert convulsed and almost hit Matthew in the face with the speed in which he sat up “whaaaaa?” he asked beyond confused.  
Matthew sighed. “Just get in the car eh?” he said pulling the other man up with surprising ease. “And try not to upchuck” he added as he pushed him into the car  
“thanks” was all Gilbert managed before he passed out again.  
Matthew weighed putting the hockey stick in the back vs the odds of the drunk idiot in his car attacking him and finally decided that the lack of consciousness probably lent weight to the former before he tossed it in the back seat. “Guess you are sleeping on my couch then?” he asked rhetorically of his companion. With no response he sighed and made a uturn to go home. “I swear one of these days I will say no. I really really will” he muttered to himself.  
“yo ta’kn t’ ya self is the first si’n of bein’ loon”  
“Oh so your awake now?” was the response “And I’m not talking to myself I was talking to you and your drunk ass self”. And with that Matthew parked the car letting Gilbert flop forward and faceplant into the dash. “I’m Matthew who are you? “ before the other could protest he added “You can sleep on my couch but I like to know the drunk asshats I rescue”  
“Gil I’m Gil” was the mumbled response as he pushed himself off the dash looking at Matthew blurrily “That was rude”  
“So is waking strangers up at 2am” was the only response he got before the other was out of the car and semi dragging him into the apartment.  
Waving at the desk lady Matthew headed for the elevator. There was no way this Gil was going to make it up 5 flights of stairs. Propping the man against the side of the elevator as he swiped his key card Matthew wondered what exactly he had gotten himself into. Thoughts of how he was probably going to end up rescuing a serial killer one day were interrupted by Gil falling on him as the elevator jolted to a stop. Grunting irritably Matthew pushed him off eventually half carrying him to his apt door down the hall and managing to prop him against the door frame so he could unlock it he proceeded to turn on the kitchen light. “Bathroom is there “ he said pointing to the room off the living room. “You are sleeping on the couch let me get you some pillows” he deposited Gil on the couch. By the time he got back not even 5 minutes later Gil had passed out again. Rolling his eyes Matthew grabbed a trashcan and rolled him onto his side just in case.  
“Sleep well Gil” he said clicking the light off as he went back to his own bed.  
O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o  
The next morning Gilbert woke up slowly. The headache pulsing in the back of his head making him try and pull the pillow over his face. Until he realized it wasn’t his pillow, this wasn’t his bed, and was that a smell of pancakes? Bolting upright the wave of nausea that followed that ill advised move made him start retching.  
“TRASHCAN IS HERE” someone shrieked coming out of nowhere and thrusting his head into it as he proceeded to loose whatever was left of the previous day’s activities.  
A few moments later a glass of water was thrust at him. “here you need it” the person said curtly. Taking it Gilbert blinked as he tried to get hs eyes to focus. “Who are you?” he said finally “Where am I?”  
The other person sighed “I’m Matthew Williams you called me last night to grab you from my ex’s…I mean Carlos’s and then you passed out and that’s why you are on my couch” with that he went back to the adjoining kitchen sounding huffy.  
Gilbert processed the information for a second. “Thank you?” he said. “I’m really very sorry about bothering you” he tried to get up to leave but the room started to spin and he was very quickly sat back down by Matthew grabbing his arm.  
“Head between your knees buddy” the other instructed. “And it’s fine. I knew Carlos tended to have crazy parties it was a matter of time really before someone called”  
“Not awesome” was the weak reply as Gilbert tried to convince his stomach to stay put.  
“Awesome isn’t the word I would use for your state right now I quite agree” came the amused reply.  
“I’m Gilbert” the other replied with a sigh. “More water bitte?” he looked up at the blond ignoring the other’s eyeroll as he went and got some.  
“Danke!” he called after him.  
“Would you be related to a Ludwig by any chance?!” Matthew shouted from the kitchen “And is it okay if it’s in a mug?”  
“It could be in a bowl and I wouldn’t care and yes he’s my bruder” Gilbert replied as he gratefully accepted the mug.  
Matthew snorted “Figures, he’s in my pre law class he’s mentioned you and your ‘awesomness’ “  
Gilbert perked up at that “Of course he would!” he said happily taking a sip of the water “Gott I am never doing that again” at the other’s questioning look he added “you know how Carlos has the collection of beer bongs?” Matthew nodded “Well we decided to attempt the flamingo…”  
Matthew looked at him torn between amusement and horror at the stupidity currently sitting on his couch “You should probably be in the hospital”  
“But I’m not!” Gilbert said and to Matthew it seemed as if the other was willfully ignoring his hangover and nausea to seem perky.  
Shaking his head Matthew went to dispose of the trashcan reminding Gilbert where the bathroom was in the mean time.  
By the time he came back the other was making tentative steps to the kitchen only a slight wobble betraying his residual lack of balance “Pancakes?”  
Matthew sighed in mock annoyance “I guess I can share.”  
And hour later after being stuffed with pancakes, syrup, and Timmy Ho’s Gilbert was finally with it enough to call his brother. “Hey Lud, yeah I know, sorry, umm at Matthews he says you know him? Okay see you soon!”  
Hanging up he turned to Matthew, “He says it’ll probably be a half hour, apparently Carlos called and told him I owe him a new pot”  
“Carlos has enough pots don’t pay him” was the sharp reply  
Gilbert blinked “I don’t get it how did you and Carlos ever hook up?” he asked finally leaning against the counter as the other cleaned.  
“Excuse me!?” came the indignant reply.  
Gilbert back tracked “I just meant you seem nice and neat and polite and Carlos….not so much”  
“He likes the environment and I’m an environmental lawyer in the making” came the short reply  
“Ah” Gilbert thought for a second “sorry”  
Matthew sighed “It’s fine I just don’t have the time for his bohemian antics”  
Gilbert nodded “Makes sense need help?”  
Together they managed to have the kitchen and living room sparkling by the time Ludwig arrived  
Standing awkwardly in the door as his brother pulled his shoes on Ludwig tried to apologize promising it wouldn’t happen again. Matthew just smiled “It’s fine really” was all that Ludwig received as a response “bye Gil!” he added.  
“Bye! Thanks um for everything!” Gil said before disappearing with his brother after a tentative wave.  
When he got home later he would find a note in his pocket: “Call me when you don’t need help~ xxx-xxx-xxxxx Mattie”  
(and much much later they would both thank Carlos for keeping the others note on the fridge)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you matthewbeilschmidts.tumblr.com for the permission/inspiration to write this fic. You have wonderful ideas and deserve all the awards i hope you have a lovely new year
> 
> Also the events in this story may or may not be based upon real life parties i've been to. In anycase the flamingo beer bong exists. long long story behind that.


End file.
